Squinting into the Light
Squinting into the Light
Who I am and what I'm doing here.
Hi :)
I am a book coach, a writer, and a recovering Christian.
A decade ago, I was praying and studying the Bible like it was my job. I was in my late 40s and I had never paused to ask myself if I still believed the things fear had caused me to adhere to at a young age. I took a job at an anti-abortion, Christian crisis pregnancy center, but when my very first client wept and told me she needed an abortion, something broke open inside me. I was whisked back to my own unplanned pregnancy at age 19.
My faith began to crumble.
It took two more years for me to leave religion altogether.
It’s a long story…
… about childhood trauma and finding out in therapy that I had spent my adult life disconnected from my needs and wants and feelings. Disconnected from my very self-hood.
Trauma can do that to a person.
So can religion.
It’s hard to make decisions and be a whole person when you don’t know who you are or what you want or need.
But everything is different now. I know what I want.
Now I help others write their hard stories.
I help them sift through the muck, help them decide what goes in and what stays out, and help them dig for the feelings. Trauma is tricky. Remembering is often the easy part. Figuring out the feelings and putting them on paper in a meaningful way is hard. It can require digging and excavation. Most people need therapy. I certainly did.
But it’s possible to get to the other side, to a place of groundedness and light. That’s where I am now. If that’s where you are, or where you’d like to be, you’re in the right place.
What’s your story?
If you’re writing, or long to write, a memoir about trauma or religion or something else that’s caused you pain, you know it’s hard. Even if you’re writing a novel about humans who are alive in this world, it’s hard. Being human is hard. Writing is hard.
I can help.
I’m not a therapist, but I will encourage and support and guide you as you write your own book. I will have empathy, hold space for you, and help you write your hard story in a clear, succinct, and powerful way.
If you’re so inclined, feel free to share in the comments. You don’t have to tell your secrets (unless you want to), you can simply share why this topic matters to you, and how your journey led you here.
As we go, I’ll tell you about my own serpentine journey.
Here’s what you can expect
Brief letters in your inbox about once a week.
Occasional scenes from my memoir in progress. Juicy stuff like abandonment wounds, lies the church told me, and of course the scary and crazy things my mother did to my brother and me. She will probably read these posts, too, so that will be fun.
The truth about how long it can take to write a trauma story and how you learn to write it while you simultaneously live through the healing.
Authenticity, courage, and compassion.
Things I discovered this week
Do Writing Teachers Prey on People’s Dreams?
Standing Among the Trees - A naturalist writing workshop led by my friend, Andrea
Bing Bong (this one gutted me)
Which Jesus? - This is a variation of the question I was asking back in 2016, which finally prompted me to leave behind the church and God. Because the answer was clear.
If You’re in Maine
I’m teaching two local, in-person classes in September and October. Stay tuned for more details.
Are you a member of Maine Writers and Publishers Alliance? If not, you should be. They offer a plethora of workshops and events and opportunities all over the state. And they have this great thing called Gather where writers meet in various areas to talk, network, and get to know each other.
Let me know if you have Maine events or info to post and maybe I’ll link them here.
Check out…
My website for all the book coaching info.
Stay tuned here for memoir excerpts and discussions our mothers and neighbors would love to eavesdrop on.
Thanks so much for being here.
Until next time,
~ Paulla